The first week of breastfeeding had been hellish. True to form, this little guy who had been doing gymnastics in my belly at 1am, was most restless at that hour from day 1. I recalled (just 17 days ago but it seemed like a lifetime already!) being kept up for most nights in the hospital soothing and breastfeeding him. It was especially frustrating when the milk hadn't 'come in'. I can't imagine why anyone would enjoy this thing called breastfeeding. The whole process would take me at least an hour and that was being optimistic.
Unlike some lactating mums who are like cows, I never had an overflowing problem. And although I was assured by my lactation consultant that eventually supply would increase with demand, the process of enduring 2 days of continuous sucking that result in sore & tender nipples, not to mention keeling over a baby perpetually tethered to my breast, the thought of bottle feeding became an increasingly attractive option.
Bottle feeding also allowed DH to share in the load and bond with the baby. The shorter time taken to feed also meant more time could be spent with my elder bean whom I felt had been neglected by me of late. Such is the complexity of the decision! Parenting today is all about guilt management. Guilt from depriving a baby from the 'best' milk; guilt from not spending enough time with the child; guilt from choosing a career over the home... At the end of the day, there wasn't a one-size-fits-all solution for every issue. What mattered most was a judicious weighing of costs versus benefits. With that, I'm at peace with my decision to supplement with the bottle. And just like that, I got out of my breastfeeding hell.
microbeanie is 2 weeks & 3 days old
minibeanie is a 2 year old toddler
Wednesday, September 23
Sunday, September 13
micro.b's Birth Story
It's now a week since Lucas was born last Sunday in the wee hours of the morning.
1900 hrs, Saturday
After a day of being out and about, I was relieved to get a moment to sit down before dinner. While DH was in the gym, my water bag burst. There was no doubt about it. I wasn't about to make the same mistake as the last time when I mistook it for a show. In fact, I think I saw bits of the mucous plug in the trickle. No need to press the alarm button by summoning DH from the gym immediately as it'd still take awhile. On DH's return, as I was blogging and logging onto Facebook I calmly told him that we had to go to the hospital. The look on his face was priceless :D
2000 hrs
The hospital was a mere 5min ride away. We sauntered into the delivery ward as pre-admission was all done a week before. I was in a great mood. Everything felt right.
I was given the hospital gown to change into which btw was the most undignified piece of garment ever designed because it exposed one's posterior in the most inglorious fashion. Told to pee into a cup which was a very difficult thing to do for preggies or 300lb folks because our bellies extend so much we just couldn't see down THERE much less pee into a tiny cup.
The fetal monitoring device (CTG) was strapped on. Everything normal there - no signs of fetal distress, healthy heartrates and contractions 8-10 min apart. Only minor discomfort felt.
2045 hrs
2 cm dilated.
2130 hrs
We got the ok from our gynecologist, Dr Kowa, to have our dinner. DH trooped down to Takashimaya's foodcourt for some takeaway. Excellent minced meat 'mee tai mak'! (despite having to pause occasionally for surges to pass). Contractions 7-8min apart.
2330 hrs
Dr Kowa arrived for the preliminary assessment. 3-4cm dilated. Great that it's progressing without the need for oxytocin. Contractions felt stronger but nonetheless bearable. He estimated delivery to be at 0500-0600. Remembered kidding with Dr Kowa and midwives.
0000 hrs
Surges coming on strong. As with minibeanie's birth, I reached for the laughing gas (50% nitrous oxide & 50% oxygen) though one had to be out of her mind to laugh at that point.
DH had a coffee to stay awake. Moto GP was on the overhead tv. Surreal.
0100 hrs
Strong contractions that reached the peak of the CTG scale. 5cm dilated.
0120 hrs
Huge surges 3min apart. The air-condition which I had requested to be colder made DH don 2 shirts, wrapped a towel around and huddled beneath the baby heater. Meanwhile, I was perspiring buckets.
DH requested a second cup of coffee. Hmm...
0137 hrs
Dr Kowa was called back. 8cm dilated! Glad that the end was in sight.
0150 hrs
Thought I felt rectal pressure. A VE showed that baby had descended but he was still too high up. Guess it was a false alarm. Maybe an earlier prediction of delivering by 0230 would come true...
0210 hrs
Contractions on CTG started to 'merge' i.e. long & frequent. I recalled using the f-word at some point.
The midwife started laying out the equipment on a trolley.
0300 hrs
10cm dilated at last! The stirrups were brought out. Time to push! DH said he was worried when Dr Kowa rolled out his arsenal - scalpels & what-nots of all sizes.
No idea how many times I was told to push. All I remembered was being told by midwife to push for 10 counts 3 times with each wave. The contraction pain which had me grabbing the pillow were now secondary; instead, the main sensation now was the intense need to get the baby out. A stinging sensation was felt that only intensified with each push & surge. Finally, when the sting was at its most intense, the baby's head emerged. The rest was easy.
0323 hrs
Lucas was born! :)
Relieved that there were no tears and no episiotomy needed .... and no painkillers of either pethidine or epidural used. We stayed in the delivery suite for an hour or so to breastfeed. At 0530, I was transferred to a gurney and wheeled to our room where we would all room in for the next 2 days.
It was a great birth experience :)
minibeanie is 2 years, 1 months, 2 weeks old
microbeanie is 1 week 1 day old
1900 hrs, Saturday
After a day of being out and about, I was relieved to get a moment to sit down before dinner. While DH was in the gym, my water bag burst. There was no doubt about it. I wasn't about to make the same mistake as the last time when I mistook it for a show. In fact, I think I saw bits of the mucous plug in the trickle. No need to press the alarm button by summoning DH from the gym immediately as it'd still take awhile. On DH's return, as I was blogging and logging onto Facebook I calmly told him that we had to go to the hospital. The look on his face was priceless :D
2000 hrs
The hospital was a mere 5min ride away. We sauntered into the delivery ward as pre-admission was all done a week before. I was in a great mood. Everything felt right.
I was given the hospital gown to change into which btw was the most undignified piece of garment ever designed because it exposed one's posterior in the most inglorious fashion. Told to pee into a cup which was a very difficult thing to do for preggies or 300lb folks because our bellies extend so much we just couldn't see down THERE much less pee into a tiny cup.
The fetal monitoring device (CTG) was strapped on. Everything normal there - no signs of fetal distress, healthy heartrates and contractions 8-10 min apart. Only minor discomfort felt.
2045 hrs
2 cm dilated.
2130 hrs
We got the ok from our gynecologist, Dr Kowa, to have our dinner. DH trooped down to Takashimaya's foodcourt for some takeaway. Excellent minced meat 'mee tai mak'! (despite having to pause occasionally for surges to pass). Contractions 7-8min apart.
2330 hrs
Dr Kowa arrived for the preliminary assessment. 3-4cm dilated. Great that it's progressing without the need for oxytocin. Contractions felt stronger but nonetheless bearable. He estimated delivery to be at 0500-0600. Remembered kidding with Dr Kowa and midwives.
0000 hrs
Surges coming on strong. As with minibeanie's birth, I reached for the laughing gas (50% nitrous oxide & 50% oxygen) though one had to be out of her mind to laugh at that point.
DH had a coffee to stay awake. Moto GP was on the overhead tv. Surreal.
0100 hrs
Strong contractions that reached the peak of the CTG scale. 5cm dilated.
0120 hrs
Huge surges 3min apart. The air-condition which I had requested to be colder made DH don 2 shirts, wrapped a towel around and huddled beneath the baby heater. Meanwhile, I was perspiring buckets.
DH requested a second cup of coffee. Hmm...
0137 hrs
Dr Kowa was called back. 8cm dilated! Glad that the end was in sight.
0150 hrs
Thought I felt rectal pressure. A VE showed that baby had descended but he was still too high up. Guess it was a false alarm. Maybe an earlier prediction of delivering by 0230 would come true...
0210 hrs
Contractions on CTG started to 'merge' i.e. long & frequent. I recalled using the f-word at some point.
The midwife started laying out the equipment on a trolley.
0300 hrs
10cm dilated at last! The stirrups were brought out. Time to push! DH said he was worried when Dr Kowa rolled out his arsenal - scalpels & what-nots of all sizes.
No idea how many times I was told to push. All I remembered was being told by midwife to push for 10 counts 3 times with each wave. The contraction pain which had me grabbing the pillow were now secondary; instead, the main sensation now was the intense need to get the baby out. A stinging sensation was felt that only intensified with each push & surge. Finally, when the sting was at its most intense, the baby's head emerged. The rest was easy.
0323 hrs
Lucas was born! :)
Relieved that there were no tears and no episiotomy needed .... and no painkillers of either pethidine or epidural used. We stayed in the delivery suite for an hour or so to breastfeed. At 0530, I was transferred to a gurney and wheeled to our room where we would all room in for the next 2 days.
It was a great birth experience :)
minibeanie is 2 years, 1 months, 2 weeks old
microbeanie is 1 week 1 day old
Saturday, September 5
This is it
I've been having contractions on & off since this morning but they have been irregular. No need to push the panic button yet. After all, they last barely half a minute and they feel like mild menstrual cramps.
Not just any day but any time now.
10 minutes ago as I was putting 2 yoghurt bars into The Bag for the hospital, a sudden wetness was felt. It was the water that had been cocooning microbeanie for the last 38 weeks. It wasn't a gush but it wasn't just a little either. And from what I learnt the first time, this is it.
Funnily enough, dada is still in the gym. No need to run to get him. I can wait and so can microbeanie :)
minibeanie is 1 year, 1 month & 1 week old
microbeanie is 38 weeks 3 days in utero
Not just any day but any time now.
10 minutes ago as I was putting 2 yoghurt bars into The Bag for the hospital, a sudden wetness was felt. It was the water that had been cocooning microbeanie for the last 38 weeks. It wasn't a gush but it wasn't just a little either. And from what I learnt the first time, this is it.
Funnily enough, dada is still in the gym. No need to run to get him. I can wait and so can microbeanie :)
minibeanie is 1 year, 1 month & 1 week old
microbeanie is 38 weeks 3 days in utero
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